the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
