covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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