found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
