so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
