the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i think my cat just said my name.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
