Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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