garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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