my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
