I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
