I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
