Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
