Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
MIDGETS
????
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Randomize
