I hate all girls vehemently.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize