porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
