I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
