I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
