I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Randomize
