it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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