Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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