oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
