Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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