with your own penis?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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