Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
