Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
