She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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