:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
the gays at disneyland are vicious
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
