Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize