im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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