the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
