thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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