If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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