i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
