I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
