dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
