it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
