Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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