That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
