im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
