Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
