You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
