eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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