Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
