think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
