Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
