On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
