hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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