Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
