I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
