i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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