I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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