I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
