meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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