WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize