Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
