I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
